Oh just hit me with baseball bat and be done with it!!!!!!

I wonder how long a person can keep getting hit before they crack and lose it.

How I dream of:
joy....peace....smiles...twinkles in eyes..
breathing in the spring air - so clean and new.

Watching my roses come alive
feeling the grass under my feet

making breakfast...with a smile
waking up with gratitude

All of it seems so far away....so very, very far away.
I don't remember the last time I truly smiled.

When was that?

Today in NY...It's 70 degrees and sunny. Perhaps, I'll walk the streets with my little dog and maybe just maybe...I'll meet someone who will make my heart smile. Sometimes NY has a tendency to bring me back to that sometime ago place when I was free and happy. The church bells ring the same chime, 40 years later - I love them.